I'm *pretty* sure Ellen Degeneres is gay

I've recently been developing a theory, and I think its time to unveil it to the public. Just like how a PhD candidate puts his draft thesis in front of a panel of harshly critical professors for critique, I'm putting this thesis to you all: I think Ellen Degeneres is gay. Please be open and honest with your criticisms of this theory, because after all...your pointing out the flaws in my logic will only serve to make my theory stronger.

Here are the facts that I have compiled as evidence of this theory:

- She has frequently been seen in public wearing suits and tuxedos.
- She once played a woman who had terrible luck in dating, and who eventually "came out of the closet" as a lesbian. Although, this is not persuasive in and of itself, because many straight women play lesbians (see: all those actresses on 'The L Word'), and conversely many lesbian women have played straight women (see: Holly Hunter in nearly every role she has ever played).
- I haven't read any reports in Hollywood tabloids about her dating any men.
- She once dated a woman named Anne Heche. Although Anne Heche is currently married to a man, so I don't see how she could be a lesbian. If woman 1 dates woman 2, and woman 2 eventually marries a man, I don't think that means woman 1 is gay. I might be wrong though.
- While hosting the 2001 Emmy awards, shortly after the terrorist attacks of 9/11, she made the following joke: "We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a homosexual woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?" Degeneres, herself, is a woman, was wearing a suit, and as the host was "in front of a room full of Jews", so may have been referring to herself.
- Ellen's mother, Betty Degeneres is a member of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). Then again, maybe her mother is friends with Andy Dick...
- In 1997, she appeared on The Oprah Winfrey show and announced that she was homosexual.
- Tabloids reported that on August 16, 2008, she married actress Portia de Rossi in California. But, someone told me today that gay marriage is only legal in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and as of today, Iowa, so I don't know how this could be possible.

So, there it is. My thesis and my proof. Again, feel free to poke holes in all of my evidence. I welcome your constructive criticism.