Homeless People Cannot Afford Apartments

You and I pass them every day on our way to class, work or home. You’ll find them sitting on the sidewalk with their homelessmade signs, begging for money or food. Often their smell lingers as long as the guilt they leave you with. And it had me wondering…why are they homeless?

It’s not a matter of a lack of space. There have to be a lot of open condos. Even my building has one unit open. So maybe they’re saving up for the down payment. But why not move into a cheap apartment in the meantime? And then one day it hit me: Homeless people must not be able to afford apartments. It makes perfect sense!

Now I know what you’re thinking, they collect a lot of money during the day. But I asked my local bum, and after the daily essentials (i.e., McDonald’s and booze), he nets less than a dollar. I don’t think there are any apartments available for under $30 a month. Since that’s all they can afford, it makes sense that homeless people aren’t living in apartments.

Still not persuaded? Here’s a simple mathematical illustration:

Let homeless person = (α² + 9δ√3.6π), let number of apartments homeless person can afford = β and let the probability that the bum will sober up = μ. We then have:

β = μ*(α² + 9δ√3.6π)

Unfortunately for the average homeless person, μ = 0%, thus transforming the solution:

β = 0

By this mathematical proof, I have successfully shown that homeless people cannot afford apartments, or at least so long as the probability that the bum will sober up (μ) equals zero.