When I heard a few of my female friends were attending a baby shower today, I at first I turned a deaf ear. “Whatever knocks your skirt up,” I thought. When it sunk in a bit more, I became more and more confused and less and less ok with the thought of it. I hoped they were joking. After all, they did like to tell jokes. But they convinced me it was really happening, and I learned that not only were my friends going to a baby shower today but so were other groups of women and gays all over the country. It seems baby showers are the new fad, like the pet rock and the hula hoop were in their days. But just because everybody is doing it doesn’t mean it’s right? Does it?
Should babies really be taking showers? In my opinion, the answer is a resounding NO. To explain, babies can’t even crawl or walk. Lying on your back by yourself at the bottom of a tub while water showers over you would be terribly traumatic for an adult, let alone a baby. Also, babies are not the smartest cookies in the box. It’s unlikely they could maneuver the water temperature to a suitable level. They would burn themselves repeatedly. Ouch. Last and probably most important, your baby could slip in the shower and hit his soft little head, killing him instantly or perhaps even worse, rendering him helplessly retarded
Parents, please spend the extra 10 minutes or so and give your baby a bath instead. What you lose on cleanliness and expedience, you gain in your baby not becoming traumatized, burned, dead, or retarded.
Baby showers are patently dangerous. As a matter of public policy, they should be criminalized. I will not budge on this.
Also, we all like some pretty f’ed up stuff, so I won’t delve into the whole weirdness factor involved with a group of women congregating to watch a baby take a shower, but that part really creeped me out too.
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