Forgive me if this post is a little too intuitive for your tastes but I just need to share this. After many hours of careful consideration, I'm going to say what isn't said often enough: diabetics can not be trusted.
My research indicates that there are two types of diabetics. Type one (or "juvenile") diabetics are born with The Sugar. Type two (or "Testicular") are people that eat so many gumdrops and human placentas that their body can no longer produce insulin. It's sort of like a raver whose done so much Ectasy that their brains can no longer recognize shitty music.
So every diabetic you met was either marked by a vengeful God from birth or is being punished by said God for eating too many Ho-Hos. (Just think about how many Ho-hos that would take! It's not like eating Ho-hos is inherently evil in the way cotton-poly blends are.) So either way, these people have been singled out by a vengeful God. And I'm supposed to ride the same bus system as them? Fat chance. (Pun intended.)
And this not just a moral issue (although it certainly is that). Diabetics are simply not dependable. You see, diabetics frequently fall into what the medical community calls "diabetic comas". There is no consensus at the American Medical Association as to whether diabetics fake these episodes or if they are genuine symptoms of their malady. Either way-don't even thing about making plans with one of these Sugar Babies. I mean let's say I have plans to golf with Wilford Brimley. But then he goes and throws a hissy-fit/coma and next thing you know, I'm stuck paying his god damn green fees. All the while, he's laying on his back with an intravenous supply of pixie sticks plugged into his disease-addled vein. And if he does show up, all you'll hear about is oat meal.
And don't be fooled by this picture. They're also not very good at fellatio.
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